There is no such thing as pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, as this is a widely misunderstood phrase that is used out of context.
Can one physically pull himself up by using his bootstraps? No. So essentially, you would be better off telling a person "I do not care about you or your struggles, and I will not support you while you are experiencing them, but I will watch you struggle, and I will condemn you for your pain."
This would be a more honest way of speaking, but that doesn't make someone look good or feel good does it? This is what a majority of people do. They did their part. They said their peace. They feel better about themselves for acknowledging the person in some way, they do not feel useless. You see, it becomes less about the person struggling, and instead a projection of feelings.
We can't do anything about people who do not want to help themselves, this is true. We cannot save everybody. We cannot force a person to change or to behave differently. And yet, here we have a person watching another person unable to get up off the ground, looking the other way altogether or condemning them for not being strong enough to do an impossible and inoperative task such as pulling their own body up by a bootstrap. This makes the person who is watching and ridiculing a clown, and a cruel one at that.
Some people truly do not know how to heal, they do not know where to begin, they don't know what it looks or feels like, and they are potentially the only one doing it so their support system is...nobody.
If we do not have the ability to help a person up, the least we can do is put ourselves in a position to listen and to understand, acknowledge their struggle, and maybe even make an intentional choice to bring them water, and not our poison.
While we cannot heal the world, and we cannot save everybody from suffering and from pain, we can do our best to shine our light for the people that we claim to love and we claim to care about, so that when their boat is destroyed by the storm and they are now trying to figure out how the hell to hold on, they can see we are a lighthouse and that we are a safe place for them to exist.
You know it and I know it...there are not enough people surrounding us who are truly a safe place for us to be. Most people do not care about where we have been, or they are ready to condemn us for the things we have experienced. Not many of the people who surround us genuinely love us, and some may even benefit from the broken pieces of our boats, hell, free lumber. Oh this is a piece of you? I need it, sorry for the scar, at least the wound will heal.
Put a light out for the ones you love. A genuine light, the one that pierces and heals, the one that shines right through the darkness without hesitation and doesn't leave them cold, but continues to shine until it is warm.
The ones we love. Not everyone in the world. Not every little encounter. Not the ones we lust. Not the ones we think should be there because of our expectations. The ones we intentionally love. The ones who make absolutely no sense until they do. Those are the ones who need our light the most to aid in their healing. Those are the ones our higher self answers the call to.
The energy we put towards returning to our authentic self and sharing that with another is not energy wasted. The energy we put into kindness, empathy, compassion, and authentic love is not striking without awareness. This is an intentional choice to be at a higher vibration and to use it to heal. You will attract what your hearts intention is. When you are operating with self-awareness, accountability, transparency, intention, gentleness, growth, acceptance, forgiveness and responsiveness, then you are operating with love.
We cannot save the world, but we can certainly assist the one(s) we love, and if you thought you were getting out of this life without a connection that heals, or you would be left to believe that love is all society has dumbed it down to be, or that you were somehow missed in queue by the universe itself, remember this: Autumn does not exist in Spring, and Autumn cannot exist if Spring remains afraid of what happens in Autumn. Compassionate love is taught in the promises of Autumn. Letting go is a necessary act of love that allows room for a renewed connection in it. The undeniable beauty of releasing is attuned to the hope of life anew.
Brittany Rose, Before The Storm
Watercolor, Oil, Procreate,18" x 18"
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